What Defines Premature Ejaculation

What Defines Prematue Ejaculation

You gotta love porn! There are people with crazy bodies having sex for what seems like forever, and then having a massive orgasm that is just undeniable. I am still surprised that many people adopt their expectations of anatomy and sexual behavior based on what they see in porn. But what I am seeing now is more and more men who feel that they have premature ejaculation because they don’t last as long as the guys they see in porn videos.

First let me say that what you see in porn is not real. Guys may not typically have a raging hard-on before they take their pants off, most guys are not as large as the guys in porn, and generally speaking guys don’t last very long when they are getting optimal stimulation. If you are basing your performance on what you see in porn, you are creating an unrealistic expectation.

The truth is that most guys with optimal stimulation will last about a minute and a half. Most guys, in fact, will decrease the stimulation by slowing down or stopping during sex, changing positions, or choosing a position that is not as stimulating for them. Other guys still will try to distract themselves by thinking about things that are not exciting. Even though that can cause problems later down the road, guys still recite baseball stats in their mind to keep themselves from getting close.

Premature ejaculation (or rapid ejaculation as some like to call it) has a very distinct definition. It is defined as not being able to last more than one minute after penetration (or happen before penetration without feeling like you have control). It also has to cause the person distress and not be a direct result of relationship issues or other non-sexual mental issues.

So for those guys who feel that they might have premature ejaculation if they can’t last more than 5 minutes, they are perfectly normal. They have nothing wrong with them and they don’t need treatment. Although they may want to last longer, they are regular guys with their sexual arousal system in perfect working order. If they wish to last longer, they can learn to slow the action down or choose positions that don’t give the same intensity of stimulation to their penis.

Although I don’t normally recommend it, some guys use gels that numb their sensation and get them to last longer. These can typically affect a female partner’s sensation, so careful if you don’t want to go all night without much sensation! Some guys find that condoms help them last longer – and they are the perfect method for preventing both pregnancy and diseases together!

 

Dr. Castellanos is a psychiatrist specializing in sex therapy for over 25 years, including treatment with bio-identical hormones, and functional medicine consultations. You can follow her on Instagram at thesexmd, Facebook at The Sex MD, and X at @DrCastellanos.

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