Touch is such an importance aspect of how we relate to the world and how we relate to each other. As infants, it is the first way that we experience our world and learn to make decisions about what is good and what is not good for us. And as adults, it is one of the most prominent ways that we have in communicating with our partners (if we take advantage of it). The mechanism of touch is known to be an important way of feeling calm, secure, and comfortable – a way of telling our brain that everything is ok. This happens by way of C-tactile fibers found over the surface of the arms, legs, back, and forehead. These respond to a slow, light caress – a typical soothing type of behavior. More research is being done specifically in this area to elucidate the importance of these fibers.
The types of nerve endings in our skin that we associate most with sex, however, are the classic ones of light touch, vibration, pressure, temperature, and pain. Because of the many different types of sensations we can experience, our skin can be considered our own personal playground. We have so many options in how to touch our partners to give them pleasure – from our hands, lips, tongues – or maybe from feathers, silk, wax, metal, leather, glass, you name it! This holds true for most of our skin that covers the outside of our bodies. It’s a little different on the inside (i.e. vagina or anus). For those areas, we can normally only sense pressure, temperature and/or pain, which is interesting since a lot of emphasis is placed on the ‘penetration’ part of sex, even for women. But it is really the rest of the body that gives us more sensation. This is why masturbation (mutual or single) and oral sex can be so mind-blowing!
So the question is, how much do we touch our partners to find out what ways excite them and what gives them pleasure? And of course, do we increase our intimacy by allowing ourselves to be touched? Do we follow a particular basic routine within our sex life, or do we occasionally take an excursion outside the realm of the familiar to experiment with new sensations and scenarios? You may find that ways you thought would be exciting for your partner to be touched are more irritating, and what you thought was unbearable is actually the cat’s meow.
Now, generally men are more focused on their genitals than the rest of their bodies in comparison to women, but that doesn’t mean that their skin is not worth exploring. And gentlemen, did you know that many women can have orgasms from having other parts of their bodies stimulated (backs of knees, back of the neck, behind ears, scalp, between the shoulder blades, or thighs, to name a few). So get out there and experiment! Find a new use for an old pair of gloves or an old tie. Let your skin be your playground.