Recently I received this question:
“Dr. Castellanos, I’m just wondering why all guys seem to be concerned about their size down there?……”
Human males have the longest and thickest penis of any member of the ape world (oh get over it people!), considered freakishly long when compared to gorillas, and only pretty long when compared to chimps or bonobos. Anyone who has read Sex at Dawn notices that this fact is pointed out quite often. And the truth is that both men and women seem to be quite concerned with penis size, with the concept being passed along in popular culture as a person starts to learn about sex.
There is physical validity to the advantage of having a bigger penis (erect that is) because of the pleasure that women obtains from having sex. Since a woman’s erectile tissue is structured into the clitoris with long legs extending inward under the pubic bone, and connected to a network of erectile tissue that forms an internal cuff around the opening of the vagina, a wider penis would create more pressure on these structures which gives pleasure. But surely the coveted long penis has become attractive and desirable for other reasons?
If you think about it, the penis itself has become the indicator of arousal, being small when flaccid, and becoming longer when aroused. A very simplistic but visual way of conceptualizing this would be – the longer it gets, the more aroused he is. Following this mindset, a longer penis when erect might indicate more arousal, a higher level of sexuality or virility. Even though we know that this is faulty logic, the idea of being “more of a man” if you have a big penis continues to be perpetuated in our society through personal beliefs, stories, and the media. Society has a done a wonderful job of creating our insecurities and nurturing our neuroses, and all of the so-called “penile enhancement pills” out there don’t do anything to make it better.
Add to this the huge increase in porn viewing since the advent of the personal computer and you can begin to understand why more men are increasingly more anxious and unsatisfied with the size of their member. Porn actors are chosen based on the size of their penis (bigger is more shocking and impressive) as well as their ability to get it up and keep it up around an entire camera crew. But if the average man (5 inches when erect) is comparing themselves to porn actors, they are usually going be left wanting. For the average guy, technique is really more valuable including all the other activities of sex that don’t involve penetration. There is much more to a man than just his penis.
You may also want to check out my eBook, A Man’s Guide to Male Sexual Issues