I’ve often been accused of interpreting everything in a sexual way. So I was tickled when I was reflecting on the starting of this blog, the blogging process itself and one’s relationship with blogging – and immediately drew parallels to a sexual relationship. I thought I would share these thoughts with you as they are often topics of discussion with couples that come in with questions about what is normal or to be expected of one’s sex life over time.
In the beginning, the idea of starting a blog is exciting and promising. It’s a time for high energy, high expectations and a flood of ideas. Anything could happen! The same is true for starting off a new sexual relationship. I think this needs no explanation. Then little things happen that are irritating and threaten your idealistic view of the whole thing: no one can find it to read it, and the search function doesn’t seem to work. But those are minor things, it feels good, and you believe that you can commit to it.
And each time you post, it’s like having sex. Sometimes the feeling just hits you and you just want to write – no matter what you’re doing. And sometimes, you can think of 24 different things you want to do and wish you could blog 3-4x a day, but of course, you can’t do everything at once. And sometimes, what you thought would be a great idea turns out to be just ok, while something that you weren’t really excited about in the beginning turns out to be much more than you expected. You will get the most pleasure out of it and the least amount of frustration if you just go with it.
Then there are periods when time just passes by and you really don’t feel like doing anything at all. Nothing coming comes to your mind, or you’re just too busy with other things. Life happens and you’re too busy living it. But it’s normal to have periods of more activity and periods of less activity. It’s not always that we have the energy to keep up the same pace or intensity in anything. And it’s important that we don’t beat ourselves up about it or become insecure about the relationship just because we may not be not be at the same intensity as other times. We should establish our own comfort level with our partner and not try to compare ourselves to other stories we’ve heard about this one or that one.
Of course, depending how much of yourself you really put into it – how much you open up to it, will determine how much it is a reflection of your true self. Your essence comes through in the way you express yourself, your allowing intimacy in the process. This invites you to grow as a person and become a better blogger (lover). And finally, in order to keep things interesting, you have to have some variation as well as something that you know the other person will get excited about. Changing it up and trying something new to keep you and the other person smiling.