Are You Stroking Her Clit or Your Ego?

Are You Stroking Her Clit or Your Ego?

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What it is about guys that haven’t figured out the way women work?  They really want to enjoy sex with their partner and want to feel like they’re giving her a powerfully-pleasurable experience.  Trouble is, too many guys are placing a majority of their focus on orgasm with paradoxical results.

Most women cannot reach an orgasm by having penetration, no matter how fabulously delicious their guy’s erection is, or what crazy angle they want to push.  Don’t get me wrong – lots of enjoyment going on here – but for 70% or so of women, they are not going to cum this way.  They are going to need some type of stroking, pressure, rubbing, etc. over their clitoris to get off.

And of those 30% of women who can eventually enjoy orgasms from just vaginal penetration and stimulation, many of them learn over time the combination of sensations that allow them to orgasm regularly.  What this means is that a woman may not have vaginal orgasms at the beginning of their sex lives, but may all of a sudden “discover” them later in life.

In either case, the pressure to reach orgasm introduced into sex by a male partner tends to work in the opposite direction of where he is trying to go.  The increased task is a distraction for a women, and the increased anxiety takes away from the high level of arousal that she needs to have in order to reach orgasm in the first place.  Too often, men forget that women have a richer experience of sex that can fill their entire bodies with pleasure, which can be very different from a man’s genital focus of pleasure.  That whole-body pleasure should be your goal.

Women also don’t usually define the beginning or the end of their sexual experience by an orgasm because they can have multiple orgasms and continue with any sexual activity they choose.  Or they can even be completely satisfied with the experience if they don’t have an orgasm.  It all depends on the experience.  By placing so much emphasis on giving a woman an orgasm, men can mistakenly think that it’s all about mechanics instead of creating a high mental level of arousal.  That’s when you’re really making your woman cum, when you get in her head.

So as you are stroking her clitoris with your soft tongue, your wonderfully-padded fingers, or rubbing it against your shin, thigh, pubic bone (you pick) – make sure that you are focusing on giving her pleasure rather than trying to just stroke your own ego.  It’s all in her head anyway.  She can cum in her sleep just by dreaming.  Now that’s an orgasm!

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