In our natural state, our mind and body work seamlessly together. The body constantly sends messages to the brain which processes the physical, and the mind assigns emotional meaning to all of our experiences. The brain then uses the combination of these to create a state of being. Whether we experience pain or pleasure, joy or frustration, is determined by this combination of mind and body together.

We start off in life fluent in the language of the mind-body and it contributes to our health as well as our happiness. It is also responsible for pleasure, including our sensual self and our sexual pleasure. But our way of living unfortunately teaches us to separate these into two distinct and sometimes opposing processes. We learn to ignore the messages of our body and push down the messages of the mind in order to function in school, families, and society as a whole. Our present world does not promote attention to the language of the body and often has us confused about the language of the mind.

Since our sexuality is a distillation of all of who we are, being disconnected from the body interferes with our ability to experience pleasure. It leaves our emotions trapped in our muscles and organs and leads to disease. It also makes us strangers to our own bodies, unable to understand what messages it is trying to send to us. We may lose the ability to give ourselves pleasure or let others give us pleasure because of this disconnect. Then we become prisoners in our own body.

Dr. Castellanos is a psychiatrist specializing in sex therapy for over 25 years, including treatment with bio-identical hormones, and functional medicine consultations. You can follow her on Instagram at thesexmd, Facebook at The Sex MD, and X at @DrCastellanos.