There is so much anxiety, hopes, and expectations surrounding sex, but seems like little truthful or helpful information to balance that out. Sex ed in schools, when you can find it, is primarily concerned with the process of reproduction, but not so concerned about giving info on the act of sex itself. Consequently, many people are left with misunderstandings and misinformation regarding sex. Here are a few common misunderstandings and the truth about them.
Myth – You can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex or anytime during your period.
Truth – Although it’s much more unlikely to be fertile during your menstrual period, it’s not a definite. Many women have very irregular ovulations which could result in pregnancy if they have unprotected sex. Either way, use a condom to protect against pregnancy and any STIs. And you absolutely can get pregnant the first time you have sex! Don’t let anyone fool you.
Myth – If a guy can’t get an erection with a woman, it means he is not attracted to her.
Truth – Erectile difficulties is not an absolute sign that the man is not interested. In fact, the more important that woman is to him, the more attractive she is to him, or the more he wants to have sex with her – then the more anxiety he usually experiences resulting in difficulty getting or keeping his erection. Relax and keep focusing on the erotic.
Myth – If a woman cannot reach orgasm with intercourse, there is something wrong with her.
Truth – Most women (in fact about 70-75% of women) cannot reach orgasm with vaginal intercourse alone. Most women need to have some clitoral stimulation in order to reach her peak and most sexual positions do not allow for that. Finding ways to still get the clitoral stimulation – whether from a hand, a vibrator, or the ability to grind against her partner’s body – would be needed to help these women reach orgasm during intercourse.
Myth – If a guy can’t last in bed like the guys do in porn, then he has premature ejaculation.
Truth – Premature ejaculation has a pretty small window of time to orgasm coupled with a lack of ability to control it. When a guy gets optimal stimulation, the average lasting time is about a minute and a half. This means that if he thrusts continuously and gets proper stimulation, he is going to reach orgasm pretty quickly. A guy like this is normal and needs to learn instead that he can slow down, stop, or change the movement so that he doesn’t reach orgasm more quickly than he (or his partner) would like.