It’s not surprising that NYC mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner was, once again, exposed of having an online relationship with a woman of a sexual nature long after he supposedly stopped his behavior and swore that those time were behind him. Apparently, his activities included texts, revealing pictures, phone sex, and sex chats.
It’s not the behavior itself that is most worrisome. Instead, it’s the deception of the public in allowing others to believe that he had stopped his previous antics, and that the counseling that he sought to help repair the supposed conflict it caused his marriage had actually worked to change him.
So we can look at this two different ways. We can speculate about what compulsions, ego trips, sexual deviancies, or unsatisfied gaps in his sex life Anthony Weiner may have. There are probably issues of power involved in it for him as well as some arrogance that he would be above getting caught. But perhaps the more interesting and telling viewpoint was voiced by Ari Melber, who very astutely said that the public’s outrage with this story speaks more towards a Puritanical view of sexuality in our country than anything else.
As many people have commented to me, sexual issues that are out of the public eye are a matter for the individual and his/her partner to judge. But once in the public eye, Americans are simultaneously fascinated with it, and seemingly disgusted by it.
Some may feel that they have lost trust in Anthony Weiner and that such a lack of self-control is not a quality they want in their government officials. But perhaps most are adopting the outward attitude of sexual moral high ground just to defend against their own true obsession with anything related to sex.
Ideally, we live in a duality – anything goes for us as individuals, but we should not cause harm to others around us. Reaching a balance between what we desire personally and how that affects others can be a constant struggle for some or at least a careful balancing act for most. That’s to be expected. Most people have some sort of separation between how they behave in their private lives versus how they conduct themselves in public.
I can’t help but feel, however, that our society’s level of discomfort with sex and sexuality helps fuel the drive for certain sexual behaviors. Psychologically speaking, if we make something taboo, we heighten its potential for excitement. If our society was more comfortable with sex to begin with, and everyone could just admit that they are either having it or want to be having it, perhaps we wouldn’t have to defend against it so much. We will never eliminate fetishes or kink – we don’t need to and it’s a wasted effort to try. We can, however, have honest and unbiased, age-appropriate sex education which could lead to healthier boundaries being set. As for Anthony Weiner, let’s tell him to grow up already.
I wont give this guy a pass at all. His behavior is beyond abrmal. Whatever his condition, excuse or diagnosis, he is not well suited for the job due to his personal distractions which remain public. He obviously has a sexual compulsion which he cannot get satisfied. Add in an ego which only gets fueled in the political arena and you have a recipe for political disaster. I may sound a bit sexist for second ( please allow me); It is one thing if a woman sends suggestive photos to her man. Somehow that is more socially acceptable. But when a guy like him or Brett Favre send a picture of their package, it is weird. Is Anthony so much in love with himself and his junk that he feels the need to share it like a facebook posting? I just don’t get it and am glad I don’t have to vote for him. It will be nice when the entire mess is over and he is out of the race. Sorry, I don’t mean to get political but we as a society have become way too accustomed to this behavior. Maybe it is the convenience of electronic devices and social media. I don’t know
I think that you are right about the convenience of electronic media because it gives people a potential for exposure and instant feedback that they did not have 20 years ago. The more I learn about Anthony Weiner, however, the more it seems that he grew up feeling quite awkward and left out, but then found that he could get attention once he was in the political arena. Unfortunately, it seems that he has not learned to feel good about himself from an internal ability to regulate this, so instead, he is easily drawn to seek out external validation for feeling physically attractive and desirable. Many of his other behaviors point to a more child-like ego as well: losing his temper easily, seeking lots of attention but never really getting anything done, throwing temper tantrums. Of course, this is just speculation;)
Very good points. As you know, I am not a doctor and I can only speculate about his background. Pardon my language but it is one thing to be an attention hound, quite another to be an attention whore. I didn’t mean to put it in such graphic terms. Yes, he probably does lack attention and needs to find it whatever way he can. It definitely appears as if he needs his ego stroked often. I mean that only in figurative terms. lol. My dogs, although they are short hair pointers are “attention hounds”, always seeking approval. Sometimes, they can become a nuisance while getting that attention. Thanks for writing such a great blog and site. I find it interesting and informative.
You pose a difficult question asking how comfortable our [u.s.] society is with sex.. From a analytical standpoint and dealing with such a ridiculously diverse pool of humans, only a complete survey that crossed & covered all types of people where everyone answered every question honestly could we perhaps discover some general answers.. Even then, we would most likely be drawn to insert what may be unwarranted assumptions into drawing many of our conclusions.. My particular conclusions are based on copious, broad experience[s].. That said, suffice it to say that generally speaking, it’s common knowledge that on a social basis, our society is dysfunctional.. That of course comes to bed too.. The tumultuous, chaotic occurrences and constantly changing courses of action in daily living have a profound effect on our sexual psyche..